Puns, baseless accusations, and other thoughts that lack cohesion

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On Emotions and Vindication

You want to feel like those who have wronged you will one day “learn their lesson” and have some moment of remorse or regret over what they did to you. You want to imagine that person being struck by a stunning realization of how they have wronged you and instantly feel terrible about it or suffer in some way for it, and perhaps come crawling back to you begging your forgiveness.

The truth is, that doesn’t happen much. Most people will just keep going with their lives, never once looking back at the consequences. Even if you confront them, they will either flat out deny what they did, or simply write it off as a flaw in your perception of the situation—either that you misunderstood things, or that you are overreacting, over-sensitive, or that your pain/anger/etc is really about some other issue you have, not of their concern.  It’s too easy to write off someone else’s feelings as invalid or unenlightened, too easy to dismiss people as not having an evolved enough view of reality as you have, to truly feel like you are in the wrong.

You have to realize that a person is on their own journey and whether or not they come to grips with whatever crime you feel they have perpetrated against you is completely out of your hands and out of your jurisdiction.  Sometimes people are going to get away scot free and never give a second thought to what they did.  Meanwhile you stay behind and carry that anger and suffering with you, and try to mentally will the other person to have the epiphany that you want them to have, or perhaps you even go so far as to concoct some kind of scheme to achieve that. But in the end you are only serving to magnify your own pain and suffering, because you are putting so much of your focus on it and making it the center of your existence.  

We all want validation. All emotions—especially anger—demand validation, demand aknowledgement, demand that there be some kind of satisfactory payoff to their presence.  If you are angry you seek the payoff of retribution. If you are in love you seek the payoff of being loved back.  If you feel hurt, you seek the payoff of atonement from your perceived perpetrator.   

Emotions are like tempermental children always wanting that instant gratification, throwing that tantrum when they don’t get that ice cream cone they wanted.  It is not always right to give your emotions that ice cream cone just to make the tantrum stop.  Your brain at some point has to take control away from your emotions and say “No. We are going to do what is healthy. We are going to do what is wise.”

Every time an emotion of any kind flares up in your brain, it is that child demanding its ice cream cone.  Every emotion demands a different kind of ice cream cone. Sometimes the ice cream cone being called for—wanting to be loved back—is rather harmless. Other times the ice cream cone being demanded—someone else’s head on a platter—can be quite dangerous depending on how much you let that child in your brain have its way.  

At some point if you want to be healthy and happy, you have to endure the short term discomfort caused by not allowing that emotion to pursue its figurative ice cream cone, and instead doing the healthy thing and move forward, whatever that may entail.

Filed under emotions thoughts life thoughts personal rant

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I don’t know why but “pine cone” sounds like an offensive racial slur of
some kind.


Filed under lol random thought can't sleep

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elevator hack

If you really want to keep the elevator door from closing, what you’re supposed to do is push back the black middle part of the door—not the inside or outside of the door.  pushing that giant black “tab” inwards back inbetween the inner and outer part of the door is what causes the door to automatically stay open without you having to force it open with your strength.

Filed under lifehacks life hacks