Puntificating

Puns, baseless accusations, and other thoughts that lack cohesion

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It occurs to me that any statement will immediately sound erroneous and despicable if it is attributed to Adolf Hitler. Even if it is some basic piece of common knowledge.  Consider the following:

"Two plus two equals four."  -Adolf Hitler

"The earth is round."  -Adolf Hitler

"Always use toilet paper after you poop." -Adolf Hitler

"Global warming is real." -Adolf Hitler

"Global warming is a hoax." -Adolf Hitler

Immediately your instincts that have been hammered into you from birth kick in.  You don’t want to agree with HITLER do you??! WHAT KIND OF MONSTER AGREES WITH ANYTHING HITLER SAID.

I’m going to hell.

Filed under quotes lol adolf hitler

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GRAMMAR ANNOYANCES

I hate:

  • When people say VERSE when they mean VERSUS
  • When people write BREATH when they mean BREATHE
  • When people write WOMEN when they mean WOMAN
  • When people say “ON ACCIDENT” when they should say “BY ACCIDENT”
  • When people say “COULD OF” when they mean “COULD HAVE”

The following ARE NOT REAL WORDS:

  • Anyways
  • Alot
  • Irregardless

Expressions that get screwed up:

  • "Could care less" means you actually care. "COULDN’T care less" means you don’t care
  • It is not a “mute” point, it is a MOOT point
  • I’ll admit to one I personally screwed up: you don’t pass MUSTARD, you pass MUSTER

The tough ones:

  • IT’S means IT IS.  ITS is the possessive.  This one is easy to screw up because the possessive of almost any other word uses an apostrophe.
  • WHO is the subject.  WHOM is the direct object.
  • Is it BOB AND ME or BOB AND I?  Remove one of the two words from the sentence and see if it still makes sense.  Example: “Bob and me went to the store.”  If you remove “Bob and” from the sentence, it becomes “Me went to the store.”  That is obviously wrong, You would never say “Me went to the store,” you would say “I went to the store.” THEREFORE YOU SAY “BOB AND I WENT TO THE STORE.”   Likewise, you would not say “She gave the keys to I.”  You would say “She gave the keys to me.” THEREFORE YOU WOULD ALSO SAY “SHE GAVE THE KEYS TO BOB AND ME.”

I’m not going to bother with YOUR/YOU’RE, THEIR/THEY’RE/THERE, and TO/TOO/TWO because enough people bitch about that already.

Filed under grammar rant

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Right Match, Wrong Presentation

All you really need to know about how bad WCW was is that they had the chance to have the rematch of one of the biggest main events in Wrestlemania history, Hogan vs Warrior, and they decided to do it at goddamn Halloween Havoc in Las Vegas with a PRESENTED BY SNICKERS CANDY BARS logo on the mat.  And because it was a WCW Match, it of course ended with the heels going over and the babyface getting buried.  If you want to see what happens in a wrestling company when the heels win way too often, check out WCW. It was just one of the myriad stupid problems that led to their downfall.

Always the matches that should have been huge, but either presented in the wrong way or on the wrong stage. Like Goldberg winning the World Title off of Hulk Hogan on a random episode of Thunder. That was the launching point for Goldberg and WCW gave it away on free TV (and on their B-Show no less) with only a few days of buildup.
Or what about Bret Hart vs Hulk Hogan?  As a kid I always dreamed of this match happening, and I consistently scratch my head about why this match never happened the right way on the right stage. It should have been a Wrestlemania or Starrcade main event. Yet the only time any version of it ever happened was on a random episode of WCW Nitro, with a screwjob finish that was really about Hogan & Bret both turning heel to lure Sting to the ring so they could kick his ass.  

Filed under ultimate warrior wwe wcw pro wrestling hulk hogan goldberg bret hart

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I know I don’t usually Instagram my food, but….THIS BURGER I JUST MADE: 1/2 lb grass fed beef, red bell pepper, lettuce, thousand island, avocado, ketchup, cholula, blue cheese, pepper. HERE I COME GOD

I know I don’t usually Instagram my food, but….THIS BURGER I JUST MADE: 1/2 lb grass fed beef, red bell pepper, lettuce, thousand island, avocado, ketchup, cholula, blue cheese, pepper. HERE I COME GOD